Saturday, December 4, 2010

A Lesson From Iris

My earliest recollections of Iris find her making her way down the row of school desks to find her place in the classroom. She was tall and thin in those early years of elementary school, with white-blonde poker straight hair that just touched her shoulders. I thought it odd the way she held her pencil to write, as if it has been driven through her clinched fist, as she labored to scribe her work.
Iris seemed an otherwise shy girl, speaking aloud only when schoolwork required it and never more than a few hard fought words. Her speech impediment revealed the struggles of a person fighting for the very control of every movement. With legs bracketed in hinged metal and brown leather straps, her walk was stiff, making small but noticeable balance corrections with every step.
Iris was shackled by polio.
For Iris, life on the playground was that of watching rather than playing with the others. On those rare occasions when she could participate, she gave it her best, but more often than not, found herself getting up off of the ground, brushing the grit from her bare knees. She was pretty tough in those early years, but then I guess she really had to be, because, unfortunately, kids can be cruel even when it‘s not intended.
She was in and out of school throughout the years, mostly out though, to parts unknown, only to return a year or more later.
At the end of our senior year there were three formal graduation events, one of which would pair the graduates in order of height. I was the third tallest guy in the male line-up and I could see that Iris had been situated at the other end of the girls line, having over the years been surpassed in height by nearly everyone.
At some point, it was realized that there were more girls than boys and the two lines randomly converged in a conscious attempt at a more favorable pairing.
When the shuffle had just barely settled, there, at the other end, standing alone with tears streaming down her face was Iris. It must have seemed like a cruel climax to a life long struggle to break free of her bonds and to realize the dream of being accepted by her classmates.
A hush fell over the group as the gravity of the moment quickly began to sink in, which probably seemed like a very long time for Iris, and it had been. Since the very beginning she just wanted to fit in, to be picked in kickball without being the last, to walk without being expected to run, to speak and know someone was listening because they wanted to.
At that moment, an average looking senior named Jack stepped up to her and said simply, “I’ll walk with you, Iris.”
If I learned nothing else in high school, it was that I am not the center of the Universe, that other people matter and that winning at anything is not nearly as important as simply being a part of it.
I have seen neither Iris nor Jack since school. I know Jack came out of school in good shape, as he demonstrated his firm grasp on being an adult with those few kind words.
I think often of Iris, and I’d like to think that there is a calling for everyone, and that no matter what their obstacles might be in life, there is a place of comfort and belonging for each of us.
And I hope that when it mattered the most, Iris was picked first.

4 comments:

Christina Jenkins said...

Wow...that was such a touching recount. Makes you think more about others and what they must be going through and gives you a deeper perspective of the world around you. Just when you think things are bad for you...you have to realize there are others that have it so much worse. I think I needed to read this.
This was very well written. I really get the visual reading your work.

Gaye W. Porter said...

I know exactely who you are talking about; Brings tears because I should have been much nicer to her and would love to apologize to her for being such a "stupid" kid. I remember graduation practice and that "special" moment. "Georgia Cox" if you ever read this, I'm truly sorry for the awful hand you were dealt in Life and for not being sensitive to your pain. As you can see by Jay's blog, you did touch our lives............GP

Rene' Wallace said...

I have tears running down my face and like Gaye, I knew exactly who you were talking about. For some reason, all I could think about after reading this was your mom, Jay. I can close my eyes and see her walking in the Methodist church with all of you dressed to the nines!
It always made me sad to consider what losing a mom at such a young age would do to a child's psyche....
She would be proud, Jay. You persevered and learned some valuable lessons about life. Thanks for reminding us of what is really important!

Rene' Wallace said...

I have tears running down my face and like Gaye, I knew exactly who you were talking about. For some reason, all I could think about after reading this was your mom, Jay. I can close my eyes and see her walking in the Methodist church with all of you dressed to the nines!
It always made me sad to consider what losing a mom at such a young age would do to a child's psyche....
She would be proud, Jay. You persevered and learned some valuable lessons about life. Thanks for reminding us of what is really important!