Monday, May 25, 2009

Relativity

We were having dinner with my son Michael and his girlfriend Marinda recently. It’s inevitable that at some point in women’s conversation there will be an exploratory into matters of relativity. This can be difficult for a man to follow and is sometimes better left to the experts.
I returned my attention to the noodles, the meatballs and the Parmesan Cheese. Eating spaghetti and not wearing it was as much challenge as I wanted right then, but I listened in just the same.
“Do you know (So & So)?” my wife asked Marinda.
“Is that the (So & So) who was in the paper with the 50th anniversary?”
“Oh, no. (So & So) is young, she’s (What’s his name’s) daughter from his second wife, you know the one with the pretty hair. Anyway, she married (Some guy) who is the sixth oldest of (The poor parents) who had those thirteen children. (Some guy) drove a school bus in (Elsewhere) County where he ran into (So & So) when he rear ended (The poor parents) car with a pick-up he borrowed from (What‘s his name).”
I thought to myself, “Huh?”
Marinda took it up, “Okay… I went to school with (Some guy’s) sister, (What’s her face), who’s double jointed. She married (Another guy) and they have triplets. (Some guy) and (Another guy) run their daddy’s farm where (Still another guy) works part time. (Still another guy) is brother to (Someone else) who married (What’s his name), her fourth husband. I know who you’re talking about.”
“Well, she’s the new (Doesn’t really matter).” My wife concluded as a meatball danced on my fork.
Some ladies are fluent in kinfolk connections and can make it sound like a well practiced recital. There is probably a college course that men can take to compensate for this but women were obviously born with a masters degree.
I suppose it’s all part of the complex topic of general relativity.