Immortal Plastic

Plastic water bottles: 700 years in a landfill.
They make it sound like a bad thing, but the “problem” could turn out to be some kind of solution. In these modern times, so many products are not really made to last and soon have to be replaced. But there are a lot of things that could benefit greatly from a slow molecular breakdown.
Take paint for instance. Maybe we should grind up these plastic bottles to a powder and add it to paint. After your painted building finally rots away, one could be left with a huge 500-year-old tarpaulin with windows. You could just rebuild your structure and just throw on the old paint like a slipcover for another 200 years!
Roof shingles made from this immortal plastic would give a whole new meaning to “Lifetime Warranty”.
And there are all kinds of wood products that the salvaged plastic bottle could replace.
“Well Sonny, they say there was a factory somewhere that made stuff out of plastic bottles that they used to just throw away.”
“Really, Grandpa?”
“Sure. See that ancient fence row? Legend has it that those fence posts were set by your Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great…”
Sound unlikely?
Well, I remember when water first hit the market in plastic bottles. On a planet that is something like two-thirds water on the surface, it seemed silly at the time to think that people would actually buy something that they could get from the tap for free. But they did.
Personally, I’m hoping for something truly profound, like perpetual lawn chair webbing so I can avoid the yearly struggle to climb out after the seat drops me on the ground.
Just imagine that.